i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Barsexuality is the new black.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
