You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize