So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
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so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
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So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
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