Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Sponge bath it is.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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