I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
They are going to name an STD after you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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