Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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