community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
