I have demons in me.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
