you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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