I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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