Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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