Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
