his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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