so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
