Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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