yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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