Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
