stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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