Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
