Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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