Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
