apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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