did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
