i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
