so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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