What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
