i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
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