haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
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We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
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Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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