Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
