i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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