is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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