I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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