Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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