She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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