Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
