There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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