loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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