I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
