fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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