So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
