He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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