apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
