awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
