girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
