I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
