You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
is it fun? or sober?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
