Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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