Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
