i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
and i looked up. we had an audience...
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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