yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
