singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
