we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
