hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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