I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
