so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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