I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
