I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
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Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
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Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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