she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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