im gay
i know
yea but for you.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
