yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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