dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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