I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
