My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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