found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
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You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
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You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
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