He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
