Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Randomize