I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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