He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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