What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
