everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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